Coworker insists nurse trades shifts with her so that she can spend time with her 2 children who are under 10-years-old, begins telling their coworkers that the nurse is selfish: 'You don't have kids, so it's easier for you'

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
May 17, 2025 12:00 PM EDT

There seems to be a misconception among people who have children that having children entitles them to special treatment. Sure, you made a big choice for yourself and your own life, and your friends and family—and maybe some coworkers you're close to—are very happy for you. Many of us, complete strangers, are even sympathetic to the fact that you're probably incredibly sleep deprived and having had a moment of free time in months.

However, when it comes to the workplace and just going out and about in your general life, you're not entitled to anything just because you have accomplished reproduction. You can't really go around demanding that your coworkers trade shifts with you so that you can spend time with your offspring when the arrangement isn't agreeable to the coworker you're trading with.

Sure, if you're reasonably able, it's always nice to trade shifts with a coworker so that they can do something, and being accommodating means that hopefully, when you need cover, they'll be willing to repay the favor. That being said, I'm sure a lot of us have been in jobs where we got burned one too many times by coworkers who weren't willing to repay clutch shift covers, discouraging us from doing it altogether. 

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  • 01

    "AITA for refusing to switch shifts with a coworker who has kids?"

    I (31F) work in a hospital, and our shifts rotate between days, evenings, and overnights. It's tough, but part of the job. One of my coworkers, Melissa (35F), has two kids under 10 and always complains about the night shifts messing up her home life.
    via ZookeepergameDr

  • When this nurse was asked by her coworker, a mother of two children, if she would switch shifts with her so that she could spend time with her kids, the nurse politely declined. But her coworker didn't let it go, pressing her and telling her, “You don't have kids, so it's easier for you." When the nurse stuck by her initial refusal, her coworker turned to telling their coworkers about how selfish the nurse was. Frustrated, the nurse turned to this online community to see if she was in the wrong for refusing to switch shifts.

  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 10506600704
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 03
    Last week, the new schedule came out and I got stuck with three overnight shifts in a row. Melissa approached me privately and asked me to swap one of my nights for one of her morning shifts because she "can't handle another week of her kids not sleeping right." I politely said no-l had already made plans around my schedule, and honestly, I don't sleep well during the day either.
    via ZookeepergameDr
  • 04
    She pushed again, saying, "You don't have kids, so it's easier for you." That rubbed me the wrong way. I told her I'm allowed to have boundaries, and I don't owe her my rest just because I don't have children. She got snippy and told others I'm being selfish and "unsupportive of working moms." Now a few coworkers are giving me the cold shoulder, saying I could've "helped out" this once.
    via ZookeepergameDr
  • 05
    But I don't think it's fair that I should sacrifice my health and plans just because I don't have the same family situation. Everyone has their own struggles. AITA for refusing to switch?
    via ZookeepergameDr
  • 06
    . CashApp-Me-1Dollar 2h ago You guys work in a hospital, the shifts are always going to S k. It isn't going to just be once. She needs to find another line of work or different facility
    via ZookeepergameDr
  • 07
    southinthenouf 3h ago • NTA you don't need to explain yourself to anybody, you didn't choose to have her kids, and if you didn't have plans and you did consider changing shifts great, but even if you didn't boundaries are fine! NTA
    via ZookeepergameDr
  • 08
    kindaright-ish 2h ago Cool, those co-workers can rearrange their lives and shifts to meet Melissa's needs. There's also no way you could go from an overnight shift to a morning shift or vice versa, safely. You need sleep to function. NTA
    via ZookeepergameDr
  • 09
    PrincessBella1 • 2h ago NTA. There are plenty of nursing jobs without night- time shifts. She is welcome to find one of those. You have already made plans. I would warn your supervisor about what she is doing so she doesn't try anything fishy.
    via ZookeepergameDr
  • 10
    naddpodenjoyer 2h ago NTA. Having kids was her choice, if the job doesn't suit her home life, she can find a new job.
    via ZookeepergameDr
  • 11
    sarcastic-pedant • 2h ago NTA, and her slandering you is something I would take to HR. It is not your job to be "supportive of working moms," and it isn't a sign that you are not because you refused to swap shifts. You were not available because you made plans. HT should tell her she shouldn't slander you to others for following the published rota, which should be planned to be fair and balanced.
    via ZookeepergameDr
  • 12
    TBF, if there was an extraordinary reason (kids. school event or birthday that she forgot to ask for time on) then she can ask, but if it is just daily life, she shouldn't be asking and you shouldn't be setting yourself on fire to keep her and her kids warm.
    via ZookeepergameDr
  • 13
    ProfessionalSir3395 2h ago NTA. "Just this once" for a specific person turns into "just this once" for more people. If they can't handle the job, then they shouldn't be working there.
    via ZookeepergameDr
  • 14
    Tiny-Metal3467 • 2h ago Go to HR and tell them your coworker has been badmouthing u to other coworkers whichs constitutes hostile work environment. Workmis different than family. You dont have to take that crop from coworkers.
    via ZookeepergameDr

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terrible coworkers workplace discussion employment issues antiwork workplace-stories jobs employee employment-discussion job work coworkers employees overworked-employees workplace Horrible Bosses coworker employment in the workplace
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